Check out this blog post with an article by Spurgeon! WARNING: It’s intense.
I always get confused about humility — I feel “humbled” when I compare myself to others and come up wanting. Or I feel like I “ate humble pie” when I screw something up. Now–is that true humility?
Spurgeon writes that humility is a right understanding of ourselves.
Humility is to think of yourself, if you can, as God thinks of you. It is to feel that if we have talents, God has given them to us, and let it be seen that, like freight in a vessel, they tend to sink us low. The more we have, the lower we ought to lie.
It could be that I just always have too high an opinion of myself, so when I get a better realization of who I am (through screwing up usually) I am “humbled” by seeing myself as God sees me–a sinner he chose to rescue. :::should stop right here, but i never do:::
In all honesty, here’s what becomes sensible to me and what I always thought WAS humility–understanding that “I’m horrible”–especially compared to those around me (you can see that already we’ve gone from God’s thoughts towards us to our own made up diatribe about our discontent with how He created the world and us.) How is the “i stink at this” attitude we end up with even remotely like humility or how God thinks of us?
But how about when I do something right? When I play a song I wrote because of the talent he gave me to create/sing/worship? It’s harder for me to see myself as He thinks of me in these situations…as a daughter He’s pleased with (because I am afraid of arrogance). So I end up with the FALSE humility Spurgeon mentions–with a “Oh, no, really, I’m no where near as good as so and so” attitude. And I call that humility. Shame on me! God made me! GOD MADE ME! I can’t tell people he messed it all up! And I can’t tell people I did something to improve myself through hard work or practice. HE made me hard working and persevering and He can use all my stuff cause it’s all His stuff, not my own.
I won’t tell people (sometimtes) that “my” talent is not good and I won’t tell myself (sometimes) that my ability’s mine and it’s better than some other people’s. Enough comparing, enough explaining, enough groveling and enough self-praising. Enough self-hating. Enough me. More Him. Enough thinking that I need to be embarrassed to be humble. Enough forgetting that God Himself made me and is listening.
p.s.: i liked this a lot too: http://hardwords.wordpress.com/2010/02/22/john-piper-are-you-being-confident-or-making-presumptions/ .