Finished another book

I finished another book.  This one was called “Chasing the Dragon“.  Yes, I just linked to a wiki article about heroine and not the book itself, which is found here.

I’ve been writing when I finish books, but this one required a lot of thought first.

Jackie left on a slow boat to China (literally) when she was young and single. She wanted to tell everybody about Jesus. And as she ministered in possibly the worst slum on earth, she learned a lot about Jesus and his Holy Spirit.

When she began to pray in another language for 15 minutes a day on her own time, she noticed a change in the number of kids and poor women she was able to help.  Also..when teens wanted to come off heroine, they would pray in the Holy Spirit (even if they had not even understood the whole Bible yet) and they would be set free from any pain during withdrawl.

It was amazing to read stories of lives that were transformed and STAYED transformed.  I learned a lot from her mistakes and triumphs in Jesus. I recommend it to anybody who wants to see miracles and know Jesus more, but i recommend going in with an open heart if you’re not used to this stuff — I do not yet pray in tongues, but i’d like to after reading her story—and i find that people who tell me to slow down and be more careful and stick to the straight and narrow didn’t see thousands of addicts leading their gangs to Jesus.

 

As usual in biographies I read, the heroine did not really sleep.  Fascinating.  Still praying for balance and all with that one.

Better Resolutions

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/articles/the-resolutions-of-jonathan-edwards

Better resolutions by Jonathan Edwards.

New Year’s Resolutions

Who has resolutions? If i put mine here, I may more seriously commit.

1.) Fast on a scheduled basis more faithfully.
2.) Memorize Scripture.
3) Unsubscribe from the majority of emails I get.

I seem to make too resolutions many a lot, so this is the year of making a memorable, manageable amount.

I’m also realizing (after seeing MONEYBALL) that I don’t have any real GOALS in my life, at all. I think that’s good, actually.

Goal: 1.) to know him and make him known. and 2.) take the lowest seat at the marriage supper of the lamb and hear him say “come up here!” .

I know we shouldn’t publicize fasting. I didn’t put details here because we’re not supposed to fast in public like hypocrites do. But I do hope this encouraged you to also fast some. It’s in the Word that we should! And we want to see His Spirit move in our city. Let’s do it, people!

Best thing I learned this month

Last week, a new friend and I went to Downtown Crossing to look for a woman he had seen daily begging. We brought her the food she asked for and we sat with her while she asked passerby to help, trying not to look like we knew her (might impact her chances to get more).

As we sat with Pam, she explained that she had neuropathy and lots of other ailments. I realized 45 minutes in that her legs were covered in dried blood and sores, and then she knocked over some of the milk we brought her, much to her own dismay, explaining that she can’t control all her movement because of her nerve problems. She uses crutches and wears a sign. She’d slept the night before in an ATM booth after looking everywhere for a place to go and finding zip.

Though we prayed with her and I called every single homeless shelter i could, no one could help. When we considered spending 40 dollars for a hostel for the night, we realized the bigger problem…the same thing was going to happen the next day, and the next, and the next. She wasn’t willing to go to the shelters when she needed to to get in, around 3 or 4 to wait and secure a bed…if she did that she wouldn’t be able to beg until 8 or 10 pm. She needed 120 dollars a day to buy her medication (painkillers). We ended up promising to keep looking for programs for her, but eventually left after praying she would be healed..she told us where she would always be and we prayed for her and took off.

The next day at morning prayer, as people left, I asked if some could stay and pray for Pam. I couldn’t help crying as we lifted her up to God, and I wondered why she hadn’t been healed. Then David (our pastor) gave us good advice…and said the more he works with Boston’s homeless, the more he realizes that it’s all about being close to God…the closer we are to God, the more we will be able to help people. The more we hear him, the more we will a.) go to the correct people who he wants to heal, and b.) be able to touch their lives with his spirit. If we do not have his spirit flowing through us though nearness with him and love in Him, we will have nothing to offer these people.

Dreamed about her last night–it was wild, since i never remember my dreams and i realized after i woke up (disoriented in my old bed in NY at home) that it was Pam who I just prayed for in my dream to receive the Holy Spirit. She was so happy.

Dad’s making breakfast and we’re waiting for others to wake up slowly, thankful for life, love, family and friends.
Merry Christmas!

Hannah’s life

At the Christmas eve family party waiting to take the family photo.

Me: ahh. My life is so complicated.
Hannah: My life is not complicated.
Me: ::leans on hannah’s shoulder:::
Hannah: I go to school, I come home, I go to school, I come home.
Hannah: I go to school, I sometimes go to track, I eat, I come home, I go to track I come home I go to school…
Me: :::looking at Christmas tree::::
Me: You sometimes have sleepovers with friends.
Hannah: Yeah. And I go to school.

yawn. Christmas. mmm.

He’ll take care of the rest/How to be blessed

How to be blessed

If I give myself to his work
And I devote myself to action
And I love the poor
And I offer help to those in need
If I listen and pray for direction
And I stop being selfish
And I realize when my thoughts are filled with greed

If my time is filled with two things, loving God and loving neighbors
I’ll be too busy and in awe of Him to be longing
To be wishing, wanting, constantly thinking
About things that I used to think I wanted really badly

Then He can truly bless me
With surprises
It’s like when you’re working really hard on a project, with your head down
And you glance up and realize someone’s brought you a coffee
Never saw it coming
Much better that way
Or when you’re staying late nights to finish something and your boss takes notice
And gives you a couple days off
Not having to ask for a break or wonder if it’s ok
Makes it even nicer to rest or get away
It’s a great feeling when that happens—because a.) you have that sense of finishing something and b.) your boss is happy with you.

Now, they say if the devil can’t make you sin, he’ll keep you busy.
Don’t stay busy, but stay focused on Jesus: knowing him, loving him, listening.
As the eyes of a maid look to the hand of her master, so you watch him, read about him and learn from him. Then spend the rest of your time doing what He says.
Faithful servants in God’s family get lots of overflowing blessings that are better than anything this world offers.

A final story.
My co-worker in Americorps had this fuzzy otter toy with outstretched paws.
And we would stick Americorps stickers everywhere in the office. Each sticker said: “I will get things done for America”.
She ripped one up so it just said “I WILL GET THINGS”.
Next, she stuck it on the otter. It looked hilarious standing there on her desk.

Sometimes, things go poorly and I reflect on what went wrong as I lie in my bed
Then I realize it all fell apart because I was like that otter, paws out, sporting an I WILL GET THINGS sticker.
Oh my soul: do not try to get things. Just look to your Master, love him and serve him. He’ll take care of the rest.

A must watch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAe0q21YgTQ

We can’t “be blessed” by God if we are trying to get blessings ourselves.

Isaiah 58:10 says: “and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.”

James 1:22 says: “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.“

End of Year for Family Focus Foundation

Great end of year for Family Focus Foundation. We’re still working on finding a better way to send money over, and on projects for the women, but look how tall the kids are getting!!

http://www.facebook.com/familyfocusfoundation?ref=ts

Thankful to our sponsors and donors and supporters…you’ve been so patient these past few years and I love all of you.

Dancing

Tonight Sofia and I had a two person dance party.
It was enjoyable, though it ended with a brief conversation on Palestine that made me go read more in my room–

More dance parties should probably transpire before she leaves for paris on January 26.

Unless the Lord Builds the House

There is a difference between God blessing something and God building something. We can ask God for permission to do things we want, or we can ask Him to build.

Just a few chapters before we find in Psalm 123: “Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, and as the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, until He has mercy and loving-kindness for us.”

If I am busy seeking first the Kingdom and His righteousness, all these things will be added to me as well. And if I am busy beholding my master, the Lord our God, I will not find time to glance around at all sorts of other things instead.

Help me fix my gaze upon you, God!

Ezekiel 11:19 I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.

Psalm 86:11 Teach me your way, LORD, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.

Asking for an undivided heart while entertaining thoughts that divide my mind
seems a little bit like asking for a cupcake but hold the frosting, and the cake part.
God knows i struggle to control desires and hopes, dreams and analysis.
But he also reminds me that my thoughts are just as much his as my time or my money.

Undivided devotion? It’s mentioned ONCE in the new testament–in 1 Cor. 7.
Wish there was more in the Word about how to dwell in a place of unity with Him
fullness of Spirit
one heart, one mind, one Spirit, one Lord
But maybe he wants to teach it to me slowly, alone, through verses I didn’t understand before.

It says Seek Ye First -
Your face oh Lord, I will seek
I’m sorry for times when I am distracted
even as I pray for oneness.
Help me to focus in on you
your global mission
your love, your example, your vision

I look up towards you and say with arms wide open
“all my springs of joy are in you!”
every good gift comes from you
you’re the only one i can go to arms open wide
nothing to offer
expecting that whatever comes
its gonna be good

its breathtaking when you stop to think about how wonderful this really is
honor love glory praise adoration thanks worship–all these are all for you.

Just wait

http://becnelson.tumblr.com/post/13814389663/i-wrote-this-song-on-my-way-to-work-maybe-i

I wrote this song for myself. But it turned out better than I’d hoped so i posted here. I hope it gets stuck in my head all week.

Day off today. Love days off. planning, cleaning, praying, sleeping-God is good all the time, and will be eternally.