Monthly Archives: May 2008

and oh!

Pray for me without ceasing too!  🙂  okay, thats a bit selfish.  THANK you for prayers.  Anyone who prayed for me at all on any day i was in Kenya.

Now.  Without sounding like a prayers-hoader:

MANY people told me yesterday at our picnic, “Becca, I prayed for you every day while you were gone.”

a.) thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

b.) WHY DID YOU STOP PRAYING WHEN I GOT BACK!?

i.) now it makes sense why life is so much harder upon arriving home.

c.) Please pray for me?

i.) Decisions about a big project.

ii.) Decisions about where to live.

iii.) Decisions about after graduation.

i understand if you’ve already got a BIG list.  but if not, i want back on it!

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MUST HAVE FUN.

I feel obligated to have fun on weekends.

I try to make as much overtime at work as i can and get A’s in all my courses (2 more in the bag this quarter!  found out last night!  woot woo!) and when the weekend rolls around, I feel I’d BETTER have a good time or i’ve WASTED it.  I also try to clean/laundrify and spend some time praying/reading.

If i do waste a weekend (don’t go to any group hangouts/parties, movies or parks), i feel terrible come Monday (it used to be worse when co-workers lived their weekends vicariously through me in my youth.)  I read an article about this once–it was about how Americans feel pressure to have fun on vacations and we do things like minigolf because if we don’t have fun in the 1-2 weeks off per year then we feel like we’ve wasted our vacation.

I feel obligated to be outside on nice days.

This makes it hard to get my work done on beautiful weekends, but because Rochester is so cloudy (ALL the TIME!) it seems like a “sin” to be inside on sunny mornings.


I’m going somewhere with this.

When I’m at parties with all Christians, it shouldn’t be awkward to say something like, “hey guys, let’s pray for such and such or let’s sing worship songs with the guitar i’m holding.”  I mean, sure, it was awkward the one time I did that at Billy’s bday party in the middle of laser tag, but seriously–why is it that when we sit around a campfire trying to think of topics or games, I feel like I shouldn’t speak up about prayer?  (okay i didnt really do it during laser tag, ever.)  Is it awkward because i don’t pray enough personally?  Is it because we feel like we’re supposed to do certain things a certain way?

I think it might be at least 50% “wrong place at the wrong time”.   As much as I don’t understand why some people are anxious if they miss being in a church building one sunday morning, I don’t understand why all the stuff having to do with Christ is supposed to stay there either.  We do have home groups/bible studies sometimes, and prayer nights, but more than 3-4 nights a week is a bit excessive and we start to feel like we deserve a break.  I really think some Christians (who i love) would even be offended that I was trying to infiltrate our hangout time with ANOTHER night of spiritual activity.

I think there’s a “just not in the mood thing” too–since prayer especially can be exhausting and sometimes after a long week, we’re just tired.  I need to understand that more when it’s happening to others around me and not just when it happens to me.

I just feel like the more tired and stressed and wound up we are from the week, the MORE important it is to turn to Him.  And yet, we (groups of Christian 20 somethings) often don’t.  What is that about, seriously?  Do we really believe Jesus Christ makes it possible for us to talk to the LORD of CREATION at any time, day or night?  He promises to come when we gather in His name!  (Pleeeeeeeeeeeease do not comment and say that when 2-3 or more Christians gather in his name, for any reason, there is godly fellowship.  If we are watching Braveheart, God’s presence is not what we’re focused on.)

I guess i’m just trying to figure out whether its culture/unbelief or what that makes me pray so little to the God who deserves so much.

Here’s something that contrasts deeply with what I read about in places like Relevant Magazine and hear spoken about by all my friends:

“The danger we have is that we want to water down what Jesus said to make it mean something that aligns with our common sense. But if it were only common sense, what He said would not even be worthwhile. The things Jesus taught about prayer are supernatural truths He reveals to us.”  –My Utmost for His Highest

This paragraph followed a discussion of the fact that the Word of God says to “pray without ceasing”.  How is it humanly possible?  And how is it humanly possible to constantly believe Him when it doesn’t seem like he has answered the last three prayers we offered?

I’m not going to type up something about how He always answers, just not necessarily in the time and place we’d like to see an answer.  Everyone who reads this has heard it before, whether Christian or not.  Instead, let’s go here:

Why don’t we pray more?

Prayer = talking to God

Prayer > playing apples to apples

Prayer > Indiana Jones

Prayer > trying to think of new things to do.

Prayer < no activity i can think of.

im not saying we cant watch movies, but i feel the ratio of time spent in mindless fun and the time spent in prayer should be flipped.

“Prayer is not an exercise, it is the life of the saint.  Beware of anything that stops the offering up of prayer.” (same chapter).

I should feel obligated to pray–no ceasing.

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American Day

Today was the most American Day of my entire life.

Slept in a bit.

Woke up, drank coffee.

Left for Caleb’s baseball game in the most picturesque little park you can imagine.  Kodaky.  Extremely Kodaky.

Ate a burger outside at the park (ok, a veggie burger but it looked like a normal one).

Left Caleb’s game and stopped for ice cream (SHERBET!)

Drove through the city to my place.

Mowed the lawn.  This took longer than i assumed it would.

Perused facebook/myspace.

Cleaned my room.

Tonight = park? and maybe a drive-in.  american ending to an american day.

it all was really surreal.

ps. i like when my friends graduate and IM rewarded with movies and food.  i also loved prince caspian and will write of it later.

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numbers

2: number of days ive worked this week

6: number of jetblue tickets i have left to sell by like..autumn and winter.

1: number of free birthday cones it takes to satisfy arricka and i at the same time.

0: number of cool phones i have.

7: number of people who are extremely annoyed at work when my phone rings.

6: time i get up.

0: days i pray enough as i should.

100: percentage of how much my friends are going be missed when they graduate and leave (on my friendometer).

2: days left til i see prince caspian.

-3 days til bec2 gets home! (YAYYAYAYYAY!)

i miss kenya bad.  its really good to be back at work.  theres a new girl who is super awesome.  i read a story yesterday about a kenyan kid playing some homemade xylophone made out of fence posts, and how anyone else mightve looked at what he was holding in his hands and given up, but this kid played it AMAZINGLY.  what do you really have in YOUR hand?  maybe its better than you think it is.

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live like you’re on LOST

So here’s something i’ve been thinking about since February, when Ramon told me, “Don’t tell anyone this.. (hee) but on the plane on the way here i sorta wanted to crash so it could like LOST. i think i would really be an assett to the others on the island and it would be so cool!”

How many of us haven’t wanted to be in a place where we can save others or change the world or be a hero? Maybe it’d be a little dangerous but to REALLY live and to REALLY help someone would be fantastic, right?

I’m realizing that we have more impact on the world than I thought we did. The way we spend our time and money matters. Don’t stop reading yet!

Here’s the thing. if one kid, who normally eats once or twice a week, can eat every day for $6.00 per month…and programs that supply the food would expand if they had more funds (but they don’t)…then every six dollars a month I spend on me, is one child who literally doesn’t eat.

six dollars = one meal at subway (ish), or 1.5 drinks at leaf n bean…it’s disturbing to know these things. and now i dont know what to do with this information except to say that just because we dont live on an island with polar bears and smoke monsters doesnt mean that we’re living in a world of safety, comfort and ho hum daily life. our world is screwed up, we just happen to live on the part of the island that doesnt see the other side except on tv sometimes. you CAN make a huge difference if you decide to do it.

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vacation!

This has been one of the weirdest weeks of my life I think.  Maybe.

To come from Kenya to Rochester was strange for me because how I was living and what I was seeing was very different from what I lived and saw upon return.

But Orlando has to rank in the top 10 most materialistic cities in the most materialistic country in the world.  Top five cities I think..perhaps.  Yesterday I was by a beautiful pool getting ready for a “dive-in” movie with the kids (swim + Alvin and the chipmunks).  I was reading a fantastic book by steve peifer (witty and effective missionary to Kenya).  It’s called “your pal, steve”.  He basically compiled his emails from several years in kenya and put em into a book.

Anyway, I read a story about a girl who didn’t want to leave a hospital.  Steve visited kids there and asked why the little girl was crying as she left..’was she still in pain?’  A nurse explained that she didn’t want to go home because in the hospital she gets 3 meals a day and home she never has enough.  Another story I read said that he visited a school (like ours in kware) and the kids were all lying on their backs.  When asked why, a teacher explained that it was Thursday, and most of the children hadn’t eaten since Monday and would faint if they sat up.

So, as im reading, im coming from a day of epcot and Hollywood studios with siblings who had complained about “starving” while we were there because we’d only had breakfast and ice cream the whole day and it was 2! (heavens!)…so we went to some southernish buffet with over 300 types of food (my guess) and at least 21 desserts and 3 ice cream machines.  I was reading by the pool feeling as full as a person could without being gluttonous, and basically started crying as I remembered the faces I saw in Kenya.

I missed home and all my friends and family.  Work’s looking forward to my return and I look forward to seeing them, doing work again and receiving a paycheck.  My master’s is getting quite nailed down (more on my BIG PROJECT later) and I’ll be done God willing by November.  But it’s hard for me to be in NY again I think..(and obviously it wasn’t a great idea to go straight to Orlando.)  its like being sick for three years with strep throat, then getting better and immediately screaming all of bohemian rhapsody and eating thumbtacks.  Ok, maybe not but its similar.

Speaking of sore throats, my voice is still gone.  I know it sounds weird but I really miss it and am gonna start asking for serious prayer.  Even if you could just pray that I’d pray, thatd help.  Ive got little discipline and will post later on what im learning about prayer but I always forget to ask God about my voice since there’s other stuff to pray for. I went to the doctors for: amoeba, voice, 2 other awkward ailments and things I cant remember…and forgot to ask about my voice.  I don’t want to pay another 30 dollar copay so im not sure when I’ll return there.

Anyway—typing this from our rented minivan.  We went to Typhoon Lagoon this morning all day then began our journey to Atlanta.  I’m getting a bit carsick because of a.)  eating primarily oranges and teddy grahams today and b.) micah keeps touching my legs with his feet.  he is too big for the van.

Typhoon lagoon is definitely the best part of Disney world.  Standing in line with caleb makes lines go way quicker, because he has mastered the Scottish accent and basically –time out so I can say this: Hannah is singing “gotta pee pee pee” and has been for 10 minutes and I think we need to pull over asap.  Anyway back to caleb. He says “ya wee little frooot” in his Scottish accent and it’s HILARIOUS.

Hannah and I shared a bed as I was warned we would (before my return and Ive been excited to spend time with her).  She is a roller and slept backwards with her feet in my face the other night without warning.  The next morning when I told her “you kicked me in the face hard” she said sleeping that way was more comfortable.

I also watched cable at night (we never had it growing up) and one movie was called 10 to starter or something like that with mr. tumnus the faun (james mcavoy). It was bizarre. Speaking of him,  prince Caspian!  Soon!  The summer is looking like a greatmovieextravaganza.

Now Hannah is singing “my bladders going to explode” repeatedly and saying, “mom should I just pee my pants”?  not good. NOT GOOD AT ALLLLLLLLL.

I’m gonna go suggest a game.  The QUIET GAME.  Hope it works.

Ps.  The roads here are SO SMOOTH!  OH MY!  And now caleb said open the windows sorry guys (ahhhhhhhhhh) and Hannah is simply screaming PEE!  PEE!  PEE!!!  If you never see me again, it was death by minivan.

pss.  posting this from KY (finally).  yay.  the atlanta aquarium was fantastic and seeing what God made under the sea just for himself always makes me want to know him more because he is amazing.

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