all is vanity

this is going to be tricky as i plan to explain my 4-5 hours of sleep per night ON 4-5 hours sleep per night (for weeks now). Here are the reasons that for weeks (and for the next month) i will sleep an unhealthy 4-5 hours per night.

Factor 1: Overtime encouraged. Let’s just say the office has now enabled me as a workaholic (i had been a recovering one) by giving me seven kinds of free energy drinks and olive garden “order in” on wednesdays (free) and dinner any night i work late. While life is more than food, it clearly doesnt take much to make me happy. No, seriously though, and more importantly, I also get a BIG PAY INCREASE if i can make my “utilized hours” for this month, (chaching), next month (chaching) and the next month (chaching and double it for all three). Its like being an alcoholic and moving in above a liquor store.

i was talking to friends after working a 16 hour day (which included two jobs, office and nanny, and a cell phone ticket between the two…) about how I want to be “utilized” at all times (this means working specifically for clients on projects at all times) so i can get more money. When my boss and i work hard to improve company processes (something i am passionate about because it will save us a TON of money in the long run and its good for the organization), i am not always able to bill the time to a client project and thus spend time NOT utilized (not making my goal hours). I get to work overtime to make the ones i didnt make during the week, but that gets hard because of class.

I didnt explain it though, the other night..it was midnight and we were walking downtown to park ave, at strong museum…by the fountain. I was so tired it hurt and said something to the tune of the following (about our 5 hour much needed but much unutilized meeting to improve scheduling):

::note:::this was not going to go on the blog but i wanted to never forget how stupid it really was to say it::::
“So today my boss and i locked ourselves in a room for five hours and did things we REALLY couldnt bill clients for”.

Everyone just stared at me. And then we all laughed til we cried and i didnt bother explaining (too tired and it goes over the ten minute point im allowed.)

Factor 2: School.

This is the most work i’ve ever had in my life. And just like people do evil things in the name of Christ, then i try to explain to other people that I really do love Jesus and they don’t believe me, people have done terrible things to the name of work. They use the name of work in vain.

Them: “Sorry i have mad work tomorrow.” Cant hang out.

Me: You’ve got 4 classes and no job.

Them: “yeah. its a lot of work”
me: you have to eat! dinner?

them: no im just so busy.

me: :::thinks about it and doesnt want dinner with that person anymore since they obviously are using the name of work in vain:::

now, if you’re a good friend you will read this post and not guilt trip me for never emailing you, seeing you, whatever. if you want to go have dinner, cool. otherwise, give me at least a month and then we can all hang out and skip rocks and waste time together. here it is:

THIS WEEK ALONE i must:

Make an outline for my paper.

Start my 35 page research paper that demands 35 references and an original model.

finish said paper

Write an essay about political ideologies and business tactics.

Write an essay about FDI increase in the past 30 years.

Write an essay about political systems and business decisions.

Write an essay about product life development/cycle and the manufacturing of old products.

Write an essay about political risk.

Write an executive summary of a 20 page paper.

Write another executive summary on an article.

Write a summary to send to my group about another article.

Attend group meetings (2).

Contribute to two group projects.

Write a 10 page proposal for my capstone project (ths will never be finished).

im dead serious. this week! thats the record. Today someone said “can we go get coffee?” in a text and i responded with “NO.” that was all. how terrible of me. i apologize to you before billions on my weblog.

finally, factor 3: Africa stuff.

I’ve been busy for years. Working overtime (i am now) and working too hard on classes (as i am now) would be average if not for the added stress of terrifying emails from Africa. I know that my complaint is getting old, but the emails are getting worse.

This week, i got the following email from a man who i told i would sell his stuff. When i agreed to sell it in the US, i warned him to expect months and months because its not easy to sell it and i am busy…he said at the time that it was ok. Now he emails me OFTEN. the most recent one broke my heart in two, as his kids are my siblings, he was a student and friend and his wife braided my hair for me:

Bolded areas are areas i think arent exactly right. and the italics stuff i wrote.

It look like you are not genuine people because the time we were together you promise to took the hand crafts then you will inform me about selling and sent the money to me after few days .Rebecca asked me to sent my bank account to her three time after sent the account now it is about one month.She did nothing and she do not want to answer my email. (i emailed him twice a week or so.) All those make me to ask Rebecca to sent her home address so that I can send my sister who live in New York to take those hand crafts. She did nothing. Now I want the money because you think that I am ready to let U.S.D 5000 (not worth 3000) to you I can not do that but I will make sure that I restore every thing you took form me.The world of todays is not big for some body to hide himself. (<—–ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.)

I gave my thing 3 people Rebecca,Ramon and Janneth though Janneth did not took any thing form me but we need her testimony because she was with you every time I gave the things.So when she will come she will tell me every thing about you that our people may come to your home.It look like you want visiters. (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.)

Clearly this was scary and sad. I emailed him back a sweet and hopefully calming email about how excited i am to give him his stuff back and the money ive already made from three different saturday sales ive attended and sold things at for about 350 USD.

so between the list above, the email above, overtime and moving out soon, i am frankly, overwhelmed. prayers? i originally wrote to say something about upcoming relocation and ask for advice (man with m.s. who will let me change the channel for him 1 hr per night in exchange for a giant apartment vs. a really awesome lady letting me stay free). im too tired to explain and neezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

(p.s. if you’re still reading, ive ruined my fancy exit and love you so much that you get to see the video that made me cry with laughter the other night–its easy now that im so tired, happened twice this week already it seems: http://failblog.org/2008/07/10/mascot-fail/ enjoy it as a prize because you made it to the end!)

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1 Comment

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One response to “all is vanity

  1. judy

    hey there Becca, I’d love to see what you have to sell from Africa! I suppose I’d need to meet up with you to do that and reading your precariously ominous schedule this week would be OUT!
    Are you still at home or moving into a place?
    if you have another email, drop me a message and I will share my cell#.
    prayers are with you for maybe 5.5hrs sleep tonight! Write away girl.

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