Interesting how hard i try to be strong, or to work out daily or to gain the most knowledge (so i can beat rich in trivia).
I mean, weakness is never a problem for God, STRENGTH is. in Pierre’s sermon “Pause: part 1”, he points out that God has to remove stuff so he can fill a person with himself and his power to move or change things. Weakness is a GREAT place for him to begin.
You know when God starts to shine HIS light on what still remains in our hearts? It’s usually right when we think it looks mostly clean in there, and we think we (together with HE) got it all. We compare ourselves to the world around us and we feel pretty great. Then we compare ourselves with Jesus and think something like “OH NO”.
My heart still has nasty stuff stuck to all the walls–things like pride and selfish ambition, vain conceit, cynicism, skepticism and covetousness. There’s thoughts of entitlement (that are so off the mark it’s ridiculous) and there is bitterness and apathy. None of this is enough to make me NOT want to be with God, but the apathy part has made me put off spending decent amounts of time in prayer/scripture because i didn’t feel strongly enough about Him to put the rest of my life on pause.
So in the car, I was describing this state of “it’s all still there” and “I want to spend time with God but I often plan to and get sidetracked”. I said, “I need something that can really just clean all of it out, even if it hurts, like something fireman use to shoot water out–those giant water-shooters so its like ow ow ow cause there is so much pressure”.
and he said, “Basically you want God to powerwash your heart with the blood of Christ”.
That’s IT! and i can’t powerwash it, only GOD can. the plan is to spend as much time as possible in his presence, in weakness/humility/prayer. I don’t think he’s the type of God to stand me up. Besides, the point is more about bringing him joy than it is about fixing my heart.
http://www.blueletterbible.org/reader/daily/PDF/Plan6.pdf <– I recommend this. If possible, with another person. :).