I need to compare myself to Jesus

If I compare myself to Jesus two things happen:

1.) I remember who is on my side, and no matter how much i mess up, He was the one who made me and will take care of me.

2.) I suddenly don’t think I’m better than anyone around me at anything at all.

It’s funny, when one struggles with pride–at least in my case—ok ok, when I STRUGGLE WITH PRIDE (i said it) it can go in various directions. First I notice something I am doing well–like time management, discipline, getting up early, juggling many things at a time and still finding time to read books, you get the idea. Then I feel like I’ve got this down and wow, things are awesome. I give God some glory and also myself.

Then i realize ALL the things I’m NOT good at: 1.) running 2.) public relations (aka my job), 3.) juggling 1000 things (since they soon get dropped), 4.) not eating ice cream at night, 5.) focusing my thoughts on Jesus and not other things, 6.) keeping my foot out of my mouth, 7.) playing guitar.

And i think “man. I am horrible. after all this time I should be better by now..”

What pride this is–what self-centered garbage! I could fix my thoughts outside. I could worship God and lie down before him and say holy holy holy thank you GOD for making it so i can live, and worship and be with you forever! Life is good! I am blessed! Thank you thank you thank you, you are beautiful, forever, and perfect. You never make mistakes, you help me when i stumble, and you have great plans. all my success is from you and all my mistakes you help to clean up. My righteousness is as filthy rags, God! I could come to him as a child and fall down and say “WHY are you patient with me? But you are and I will bow down and humbly pray to you–may your praise be always on my lips–i cant stop singing your praise”.

But some days i just self-analyze and try to better myself. I never feel fully “better than others”. I sometimes feel 100 percent worse than others. But often i feel both, better in some areas than the majority and worse in many ways—comparison is SO evil, so dangerous.

Rather than making sure i’m in line with those around me, why not look to God for his thoughts on the matter? Not just asking what he thinks and not asking others–but opening the Word and asking God how i line up in his scriptures. But better yet, why not forget the whole thing altogether sometimes and just worship Jesus? Everything else looks meaningless after i look to him. Empty vessel. thats what i am. Help me get it, God!

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