God blew my world apart over the weekend.
I needed him to kick satan in the face for me and he did. Funny how he reminds me that there’s no ‘levels’ of being a good Chr*st*an. Like–the minute i think i have it figured out, he says no no no you do NOT. you’re back at square one.
I wrote this tonight to a friend and decided i should just post it here so i remember someday that it happened:
How are things?
Things here are rainy but God is showing me something. I can’t have my passion and zeal be for people, cities, nations…it has to be for HIM. otherwise when things get shaken up and its not going so great, i won’t make it.
Sometimes old married couples know each other better than they know their own selves–like—nothing’s gross anymore and they can make it through anything because they have each other. If anything happens, they can cling to each other—If i do not have a relationship with him that is more important to me than ministry, family, health and even seeing Mslm people come to HIM, — then I will not make it in times of trial.
So my #1 focus, though i love evanglsm, is currently knowing and loving him. That way someday when he says, I never knew you…it will NOT be to me. Plus i want to know him more.
Ideas on how to start loving him more as of tonight? I think I will love him more as I better understand the love of God.