Dad drove me to Buffalo today to leave for my life in Boston again. Real world. Felt burdened and weighed down with responsibilities and emails (86) and loneliness (sometimes) in a big city. Knew it was coming. So i tried to find things to “preach to myself” and Dad was helping me.
We came to the question: why hasn’t God taken us home yet? Let’s stop and think about it.
1.) Because we’re supposed to enjoy life here (BUZZZZZER: WRONNNG)
2.) Because He loves this world and has a mission for us (ding! yes)
3.) Because He willed it (yes)
It’s not that we should not enjoy life here. I do enjoy it. You may enjoy it. But that’s not WHY we’re here. I think when i think things are about my own glory, that’s when I get ‘distraught’.
By “for my own glory” i do not mean I actually think “How can i be glorified”..it’s more like these sorts of thoughts:
“What will my boss think of me if…”
“What will people think if I …”
“My sister is married. I am not. And she has a new BMW that goes really fast. And i have to walk up the giant hill alone w/my suitcase”.
“When will i get to travel and enjoy my life more while I am young?”
etc. and these are the most ridiculous problems. “White wine” if you will—i just want to slap myself for complaining about these things!
Now. There is nothing wrong with wanting to travel or have fun—or please my boss—-but I’m here to serve God! If i never travel again or get married or make people happy, it’s ok! I’m here to learn to know him and to do his will as much as i can (and then let Him do the 99 percent more i cant even try to do).
When i remember that it is not my job to have fun here because I’ve got Heaven to look forward to, and that Boston is a place God has put me for THIS season, I am encouraged. Super encouraged. He Himself is actually pretty amazing, present and fun and deep and generous and protective and loving. All of a sudden I don’t need to travel, marry, drive a sweet car or anything. This world isn’t for getting sweet cars people! (if you have an amazing car, don’t think i’m saying it’s wrong. I just know that we’re here for a really short time–and it’s not like “better get a good car while we still can, it’s more like “better save up treasures in Heaven where they don’t rust and get corroded”).
So what some people take as “Life is short, i should have as much fun as i can now” we may wanna take as “Life is short, i should store up as much reward in heaven as i can”. Uhm and: 1.) know God so that this doesnt happen” http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+7%3A21-23&version=ESV and 2.) do his work here because he’s awesome.
The second i take my eyes off that, I get jealous. Or i get complain-y. Or I get down on life and super impatient. A godly woman “laughs at days to come” and she takes things in stride! This is how i want to live. Just audience of One. Him. Me. Loving people. Then going home. Simple.
Besides, Somalia’s having a famine. I think the whole church needs to feed that nation. How can we start something that will feed all their people? There should never be a person dying of hunger in this world. It makes me really angry and sad when people die of hunger — it makes no sense.