Monthly Archives: September 2011

The Dad, Brother, King, Groom, Friend, Mother and Maker

Yesterday, I was lying around thinking “God, do I know who I am?”

And I do. First thing was: Daughter of the King. Second: Bride of Christ.

Then i stopped.

Jesus is a SON of God. And I am daughter…but part of the bride—weird. “He’s my brother, God! That’s so weird!” Then I realized the three-in-one also calls himself a mother (who would gather chicks under her wings), a friend, a kind master, a great employer, a party-thrower, a generous neighbor, a judge…a lover, a prince (of peace), a counselor..

So he uses every single human love relationship we can imagine (from Father, mother, groom, brother…) to show us how he feels about us. He knows we’ll never fully understand his love — even in Heaven–because it is infinite. So he helps us by using every single type of love we know to say “I love you every way I can and way more!”

It’s amazing.

And he is more fun, wise, wonderful than any person (even my earthly parents, who are WONDERFUL). He can take me places and show me things no one else can. I want to learn to love him the way he deserves and he is gentle and shows me day by day what that looks like.

One friend of mine gave me a good idea: At the end of every day, think about ways I trusted him that day and ways i showed i did not trust him during the day. Then talk to him about it and ask him to help me the following day. It’s really helpful. His love is unfathomable, but he has taken every chance and every opportunity to show it—

And most of those are not analogies…(except shepherd loving his sheep, since we’re not really sheep). He is not telling a parable–he really is our Father (we’re adopted), maker, brother, friend and lover—and he always will be forever.

We have a big wedding coming up in glory and we are the bride he’s been waiting tens of thousands of years for—as Kelsey would say, “We better get ready!”
And we are his children who can bring him even more joy than we realize. We better ask him what he likes and try to please our dad.
And we are his brothers and sisters because we’ve been adopted. Now he shares God’s gifts with us as heirs. What unspeakable love this all is.

To wrap up, clearly when i ask who I am it’s all wrapped up in Him. As always, it’s better to focus on worshiping him, taking eyes off of me, and praising til i fall asleep at the end of a long night–now to remember this (help me God!) and continue basing who I am on His perfection, royalty and love. No wonder John said “he must become greater, I must become less”. What joy my soul feels when I praise Him in relationship–not only for who he is, but for who he is to me, the most wandering and undeserving.


Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

The Good Lord

When the Good Lord gives me a night to relax, drink hard cider with Kelsey (who i missed desperately) and listen to music while I unpack, I must only say thanks to Him.

He is more than I knew i needed.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

What is your testimony?

I think I’m getting sick.
I’m not sad or even that uncomfortable really. It’s a little gross and I sound like a cotton ball is inside my face and i am really really cold.

If you’re the praying type, I am leaving for DC Wednesday and got home early this morning from VA/Charlotte/Rhode Island/MA (it was a rough trip home from Richmond).

I have to write the most difficult piece I’ve ever written, and it will have to be only Him who writes it, cause I’m out of juice.

Yet, he is always more than enough, isn’t He? This week will be fine because He is in charge of this organization I work for.

It is nice to go into a season–maybe a few weeks, few months–where I know I need to cancel all my appointments and :just pray: — because usually when that happens its about something BAD. This time I am not burned out, not in some sort of dread, just in a good, sweet restful time of preparation. It’s nice.

In any case, even amidst the beautiful tasting, seeing, knowing and resting, being sick is often a lonely, icky drag, especially when I have to work some 15 hour days on the Hill.

You know what would cheer me up?

Your testimony. I don’t care if you started following Jesus when you were 1 and a half and never left him, or if you were in prison for 5 years for something scary. I just want to know how and when and where Jesus became your Lord of all.

This weekend I asked every person I met from another country how they met Jesus and I’ve never been so encouraged by stories before…every one was different, and every single one was a miracle.

It really is a miracle every time someone comes into His Kingdom. Can you leave a comment with your story and make my night?


Filed under Uncategorized

Palestine. Love.

That is an update on Palestine and their bid for statehood. I am not even going to comment. Ok, I’ll say two things: 1.) I love Palestine but don’t think this is a good way to attempt statehood 2.) I am sad for the way this will portray America to the Arab world–we need to build bridges not create more walls—

Secondly, deep thoughts of the day:

1.) Wednesday morning: first ever tears of impatience. I’ve never experienced that before. Not anger or even upsetness, just really (sinful, really) lack of discipline in waiting on Him for a number of things that seem important to me (in friendships, policies, all kinds of things). I felt “be thankful” spoken to my heart and got an idea to keep a very very small journal on me at all times, bed, walking, work, eating…so that i can write everything i am thankful for inside.

I forgot to buy one.

That night i got a small envelope in the mail from Bec2, best friend growing up. She sent to me a small tiny journal, just the one i imagined that morning. God sent me a bday present.

2.) There is a reason that the first characteristic of love listed in Corinthians is “patient”.

3.) I was on a plane today writing in my tiny journal and i found myself honestly, not lying, grateful for the TIMING of God. This is not normal for me. My hand wrote it, my heart agreed and my soul was shocked.

Thank God for his timing today. First say it, then think about it. Think about NOT it. (scary).

4.) Last night I was taken for a special ride after being inspired by a friend’s show. Stephanie Snell drove Olivia home to East Boston do her HW, then me to my house at 11 PM to get my things (in JP) then back to East Boston to sleep over before my morning plane i had to catch. She set me up with blankets instead of doing the stuff she had to do (she also had to get to the airport in the AM). I felt SO loved. today she made me coffee and cereal so i’d be ready to go.

I was filled up to the brim by her love and hospitality. I want to be just like their family in the way they go way above and beyond. WAY. Recently they told me they might try to fit a family of 5 into their own 2 bedroom apartment. They could live live as a family of 3 in a 2 bed apt and invite a family of 5 to live there too so they’d have a place to be. Why not? They needed a place!

I could just feel my heart learning from her. It was amazing. I needed a hug like that this week and she just delivers Christ’s love every time i see them–thanks for being parents in Boston when i miss my own!


Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

I received many cards.

1) Worlds most giant birthday card = olivia snell
2) Best scripture in a card: Jill warren
3) God-sent gift that I had asked him for: Becca Cragg’s tiny journal
4) Most german postcard = austin and cassie
5) Nicest ribbon = marlo brown
6) Best use of photos – tara craft
7) Most relevant card = Joanna!
8) Card from youngest baby = baby ben
9) Card with best handwriting = Alyssa drew
10) Card with the most wonderful panels and thickest envelope = esther brown
11) Funniest homemade card = roger and Claire dewey
12) Card from people ive missed for the longest = susan and garland solt
13) Most western postcard = my other parents barb and brad
14) Most musical homemade card = ed and marion
15) Most silly sound-giving card = chris and shiho
16) Longest letter = Kevin devalk!
17) Most glitter – jeff, patti and brian
18) postcard with the most antlers on it = stephy dunn
19) nicest card from someone who didn’t know it was my bday = peggy travis
20) heaviest card proportionate to its size and with the best inside artwork = Amanda liddie
21) most epic amazing sweet scrapbook card = dave molineo
22) most biblically correct card when speaking about the light of God: danny
23) prettiest card with the hardest to read signature – anna geffkin
24) card shaped most like a cupcake = sherrt and elie grunhaus
25) card with the most cows on it and that relates most to me = Rachael j.
26) most golden envelope = Emily howe
27) most nature in action on a card = Michele martindale
28) card that I know was most thoughtfully selected of all = papa.
29) Card that uses the most names for Becca = paul and kate stamos
30) Card most grammatically incorrect = emma (age 5)
31) Most informative letter = antidan
32) Most neat handwriting for a man, and most internationally focused letter = dave kelbe
33) most british postcard – nik Alexander (also cutest signature)
34) longest (horizontally) card with nicest poem = dave warren
35) best use of crayons = prisca Edwards
36) most heartfelt and sincere = Stephen
37) most sparkly fairy card and use of dear one = Jeanne yamanaco
38) furthest so far = Kenya = Courtney f.
39) most Canadian postcard from a friend in the UK = Vicky Griffiths
40) softest card, most peaceful = sarah durfey
41) funniest card (including the inside writing) val tracy
42) best most awesome envelope = MOM.
43) Cutest picture of a puppy = derrik
44) Card with best theology = Nezha
45) Most encouraging card (of my life) and hopefully most prophetic = Kelly steinhaus
46) Silliest postcard about the white house = steele, judy and mark
47) Most confusing mine the stoke reference, hilarious card and reminder that I miss rich = Richard.
48) Cutest ladybug inside a card = donna (I miss you!).
49) Most postcards = Pat Garrett
50) Coolest trivia on a postcard – pat garret
51) Card that made me miss Rochester the most = pat garrett
52) Card that makes me want to dance = bern and fam
53) card I had to turn the most to read = bern and fam
54) card with the scariest picture of a baby girl = bern and fam! Reminded me that others’ opinions don’t matter.
55) Card with the most sass = bern and fam
56) Most cards = 14 = patti and conrad
57) Best abe Lincoln quote = patti and Conrad
58) Best bum joke combined with polar bear = patti and Conrad
59) card that reminded me most that life’s a journeeeeeeeee = patti and conrad
60) most xoxoxoxo’s on a card = patti and Conrad
61) best Emily Dickenson quote= patti and Conrad
62) the best is yet to come – best intro card to a deluge of cards = patti and Conrad
63) card that made me happy to be alive = patti and Conrad
64) best use of my moms card: patti and Conrad
65) card that made me thankful for friends and smiles = patti and Conrad.
66) Card that reminded me to give more= patti and Conrad.
67) Best Helen keller quote: patti and Conrad .
68) Most twisty psychodelic card = patti and Conrad
69) When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice. – enough said = patti and Conrad
70) Best baseball cards that are actually about movies = hook
71) ELEPHANTYIST card with most loving roomie words = cindy
72.) Best card: Govind. IT SINGS AND IT IS A KITTEN MEOWING.
73.) most unicorns: tie between Laura and Becca 2. Laura’s was more magical, bec’s was more sticker-covered!
74.) prettiest bead covered card: auntsally. (those were beads right?)
75.) most confetti: Who are you!? you’re on chili riga road and i cant read your name anywhere!? is it courtney??
76.) Best excuse, cutest note: Jen Boland.
77.) pAckage! RAchael jarboe!
78.) sparkliest hearts and sweetest note: Malek.
79.) coolest stamps: Yao-Li Yuan
80.) Christine Ong: All i can say is i havent seen those little critters in YEARS and that was the cutest postcard on earth.
81.) fit most on a postcard: arricka nowland
82.) best color scheme: Gloria Read
83.) best proverb: Stef Tornow
84.) MOST EXCITING! Jen Norman. Made me laugh the most too.
85.) Most ironic letter: dave kraines
86.) SPOOKIEST postcard: Pat Garrett
87.) Most nostalgic – Will Cuthbert
88.) weirdest dude on the front, most relevant (beats even the other most relevant one) most encouraging card from a GUY friend: Matt Olson
89.) Card from someone i super miss and have been wondering about: and is it homemade? Regina Ram
90.) Package i keep missing from fed ex: Nagender (GOT IT. ITS AWESOME. best donut pendant necklace.).
91.) Latest and most informative letter: Ankica (UAE!).

I think there will be additions. Also stephen just took best male handwriting.

PATTI and Bern: You two rocked it-
Pat = thanks!
Special mention: Best use of the word crabcakes = oliva snell

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

It is my birthday

And my dear friend Julia Marie is on the homepage of Noisetrade. Oh wait, you’re Julia Sinclair now. Way to go, girl!

I will go to the beach. Hoping the Good Lord paints an epic sunset like there was September 14th, 2009.

Notes from the early morning: Don’t get self-focused. Birthdays are a day to check in with Him and say “thanks for making me be alive!”. God, thanks for another breath. You are very very good.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Waiting and Hopin and thinkin and prayin..


It’s 1:15 AM. A blog post is happening because I do not want to forget a wonderful conversation between my roomie, a young new beautiful friend, and myself.

Key idea:
Your Father in Heaven knows what you need before you ask him. He is a good God who pours out all we need. If he has not given it, you obviously do not need it. So let’s run the race and wait for what he gives.

Men (generally) do not spend as much time analyzing us or relationships OR getting over hurt and pain (GENERALLY, men! That’s all i’m saying!) as women. I listened to a heart-wrenching story tonight of a young lady and a man who wasn’t careful with her heart–he wasn’t “sinning” but he wasn’t obeying 1 Tim 5:2–”Loving younger women as sisters in absolute purity”. She is still healing, sad, and was on the bench for a while with a broken heart. It’s hard to focus when things hurt so much.

When we get ourselves and our thoughts/hearts/minds “involved”, from a crush to a full-on relationship — and things aren’t working we: 1.) try to make them work 2.) try to pull through by hoping for something better down the line. “he must have someone better for me”. We also 3.) wonder why it seems easier for our male friend than for us to move on or shift thoughts.

“There must be someone even better for you”…Actually, He IS something better for you! “And now Oh Lord, for what do i wait? My hope is in you!” Ps. 39:7. Don’t just hold out trusting God to give you the right prince. Trust God to give you HIMSELF. It’s not “and now oh Lord for what do i wait? My hope is in you to give me what I’m asking!”..

Second, we can’t “make things work” any more than we can change someone else’s mind or convince someone that J is the way. He makes things grow and be and he will guide the man to a godly woman. Take time to practice your gifts, learn to minister to God and hear his voice. The kind of man you want will find that irresistible and it is certainly more worthwhile than getting prettier, going tanning or reading books on relationships or how to be in one.

Ladies: This blog could be about anything! It could be about the great commission or how to help babies in Nairobi. But it’s about men being a distraction because yet again, i find young blossoms around me whose hearts were broken by careless men (forgive them Lord, they don’t know what they do) or confused expectations (usually somewhat rightfully confused). What a waste in these last days to constantly re-learn not to get caught up in distractions.

Guard your hearts. Lock them on him. Fix your eyes on Jesus. He is never confusing about his love for you. He is never one to disappoint or forget. He never hurts you, never leaves you and will never forsake you. He is not who we have while we await another husband, he IS our husband and he will always be. If he wants you to meet someone and marry, you will. If he doesn’t, no amount of worry or thought, primping or planning will get you a man. Don’t waste your precious time–please bounce your thoughts to Him and his goodness.

Men: BE CAREFUL. Please! You just read how much this affects us. You’re not “all sinners” but you have no idea how much your decisions impact your sisters. Our spiritual lives and emotional lives are all tied up together.

Pray to God about how to treat the girls in your life. He is excellent. He will help you. He is the perfect “hitch” and will help you in the right time to be a godly leader.

When it comes to seasons (of not having a job, of singleness, of working in a job you don’t really love—) what you are putting your hope in is NOT “That God will make it better someday if I make it through this time”. What you hope in is HIM, himself! He is awesome and He is faithful and He will do what is right.

ending with a quote:
“Do not make an idol out of the things you want him to give to you and call that waiting on God.”


Filed under Uncategorized