Monthly Archives: October 2011

Brother Andrew

Finishing up the biography of Brother Andrew today.

The man was a total maniac, seriously! Check him out.

He makes me want to read just the Bible. Told a story about these POW’s in Vietnam who couldn’t get Bibles and decided to write one out together with all the verses they had memorized. They started writing them out on papers together that they scrounged up. But they soon realized all they knew together was the Lord’s Prayer, some beatitudes, Psalm 23 and few other random passages…they had not “allowed the Word of God to dwell in them richly”.

let’s memorize. someone check in with me in a few months and see if I have enough on my heart to get us through a month in prison, and slap me silly if I don’t,

Check him out at opendoors or google brother andrew. you can borrow his bio from me if you’re interested! it’s pretty short..


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Be strengthened

This week God showed me the difference between “BE STRONG” and “BE STRENGTHENED”.

All my life I thought I had to just do it. This is embarrassing, but here:–clearly you should not take everything this blog says as any kind of truth. I’m a pilgrim on a journey and THAT POST was off.

From :
The Greek text doesn’t say, “Be strong,” but “Be strengthened.” God is not telling us to be self-sufficient with self-control and personal strength. God wants us “to be strengthened in the Lord.” Don’t just try to be strong like some other heroes – receive strength from God. Passive imperative – Be (command) strengthened (passive). Psalm 46 – Relax; cease striving and know that I am God. Be strengthened – I have called you and known you and chose you and love you. Being strengthened isn’t about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. It’s about knowing God is God!

1 Samuel 30:6 – During a difficult time, David strengthened himself in God. He found security and identity in God. Before he got guidance for the next steps, he strengthened himself in the Lord. We must learn to get before God and be still and know that He is God. It’s not pretending that the river Jordan or the Jericho wall isn’t there – it’s seeing it and then finding strength in God. Romans 8:28 – we know that all things work together for good for those that love God and are called according to his purpose. We must know that the things we can’t manage, God is in charge of. You are either at the mercy of how things turn out or you are the apple of his eye.

There is a HUGE difference between finding the source in Him and just pushing through. He doesn’t look for strong people who have potential, he looks for empty people who really believe Him.

p.s. i believe that when Gideon had 300 vs. 10000, none of his guys had swords. whatttttttttttt.

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I need some prayer

Hi everybody.

Just wanted to update you on life this month-and can I ask for urgent prayer?


As some of you know, I have been working at a non-profit in Boston, learning new things and making mistakes, meeting cool people and praying a LOT. We’ve had recent success and it appears strongholds in our nations’ media are falling apart. Praise God.

This month will be a difficult time, but hopefully significant and joy-filled all the way.

Tuesday morning early, my boss and I will head to Washington D.C. for an emergency hearing on an important man who is under house arrest in China–we have information on him that we will share, and will be asking leaders to act on his behalf. For this hearing, I need to write a speech, a longer written testimony for the Congressional Record, and a press release. I plan to call all the media I know, inviting them to please cover the event, and I need to pack/make sure we have everything for each day before we leave Tuesday. (Lots of articles, technology, books, papers to bring to these things and I’m the only one going besides CL). I love multitasking, but I feel like the amount we need to do is almost impossible.

Wednesday is a second hearing. This doesn’t usually happen. Usually there is one hearing per month or two. This one is about a bill we are trying to get passed. We’ve never done this kind of advocacy before, so it’s particularly difficult. I am writing the testimony for this, editing a statement, and trying to get media there. Looks like a few media outlets want to see CL at their studios, and we may try to meet the State Dept and a few congressmen before and after the hearing.

I’m including this stuff so you know why I need prayer! But if it’s too detailed, let me know for next time.

Thursday is a third hearing. This has never happened before on this issue. I’ll write the speech and try to get media to come and for all of these, I’ll also create an FAQ for CL to read from in case she gets hard questions.

It’s just my boss and I going, and I am the one in charge of logistics and making sure we get to our hotel/meetings/flights etc..on time. Terrifying if not for the Comforter and Helper.

We fly back and leave 1-2 days later for a press conference in NYC particularly for Chinese media. Here’s where I’m really out of touch with how to proceed, and hopefully I can breathe and rely on our Chinese speaking director to just help wherever needed. The next day is the Glamour Magazine Women of the Year Awards (red carpet event, last year was Julia Roberts, Fergie, Queen Rania.. I have never done something like this, and I don’t know what to wear! Oh gosh.

Immediately after the event, we will sleep and wake up to head to Rome. We have a meeting with the Pope! (as I write this, it sounds like an April Fools posting). If he is ready to meet privately with us, we will skip the Glamour event and just get to Italy for our meeting. If it’s a private meeting with about 20 other people, we may just stay in NY for the event. Not sure yet. Wish I knew what was going to happen so I knew how to plan, but this is how we roll sometimes!

The next day, we will meet key leaders and speak at a conference about democracy. I am writing the speech that will be delivered, as well as the speech for the book launch party with world leaders, and the speech for the European Parliament (President and VP present), and the speech for the EU delegation from Brussels coming down to meet us. I need to write press releases and try to get European media to cover our events, but I’ve never met any European media and do not know how I can possibly do all of this in time.

After a few days of these meetings, we will go home.


Some of you know that I am a learner still at my job, and that I have limited experience in public relations, but that God has been working through our inexperienced team since day one because he wants to see our mission completed on earth for the glory of HIS Son and the coming of HIS Kingdom. It was hard to know how much to share because it could sound boastful. But really, if you watch us work, and with my inexperience in particular, you can see that it’s all a miracle what He has done and does through people who are empty inside. Pray for emptiness, that he would increase and I would decrease! When my heart is overwhelmed, he always comforts me. So he gives us more grace. I write not to overwhelm you or in arrogance, but knowing who I am and what will happen if God does not move. The Word says, “Bear one another’s burdens” and I am hoping some of you can pray for me.

I feel I’ve just now been learning to be still and know that He is God, and as I write, I’ve cranked the heat in my bedroom, set aside lots of time to do nothing, and am lying here considering how amazing He is. I wish I had a little more time to chill/rest/take it all in. It’s so nice knowing he doesn’t need us and we don’t have to run around all the time. But this season coming up feels very God-inspired and we’ve prayed about each thing and felt led to go. A very godly man prays daily with CL that “we would have a chance to speak”. I joked and told her “ok you can tell him to stop now!”

There’s no real fear about the next few weeks–just a desire to take it a day at a time with true humility, rely on/cling to Him like I never have before— and hold on tight. It’s going to be a wild ride.

Specific prayers needed:
for strength and health–don’t plan on getting much rest
for good communication: so i can write whatever CL is really wanting to say
to not move too fast and forget details: there is too much going on to do this one without help supernaturally.
for love and patience: one heart as I deal with my own personal decisions and choices outside of work
for relationships with friends, that I would balance time with Him, work and friendships correctly

in other words, just pray I’m led by the Spirit and keep in step with the spirit :).

Please email me if you’re interested in reading only one of the speeches I’m writing. It will give you a good understanding of what CL will testify about. I cried at my desk writing it yesterday. It’s too sad to put here. And email me prayer requests for you. I will have time to pray on planes and trains and walking places, and it’s good to peel my eyes off things and put them on Christ and the needs of others.

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יחד לבבי yached lebabi

יחד לבבי yached lebabi

Unite my heart. You know this will only happen through Him. Even when I pray for it through unnecessary pain which I’ve brought upon myself through distraction, sometimes in my own impatience and stirred up emotion, my own desires and worldly passions, I pray not only for an undivided heart, but for the desire to maintain this in Him. The hardest part about praying for unity of mind, heart, purpose and will is that you don’t have it yet, so even as you pray for it, other desires nag at you. But He is faithful–“The one who called you is faithful and HE will do it”. I just have to pray and ask for help and he will continue to be strong when I am weak–knitting my heart to his as I ask for it and wander off in my thoughts, as I find all my springs in him, then look elsewhere. I think as we mature, we will pray more seriously for this unity–and experience more of it (as Christ and the Father are One). Christ prayed for us to be One as he and the Father are One, on the night he died. It was his DYING wish. And the Son gets what he prays for on his ‘deathbed’. He knows my heart and my lack of ability to unite my own heart, even as I seek this. And His patience…what a miracle it is..!

From a commentary on Psalm 86:11:

a) The end which he desired to secure was that he might truly fear God, or properly reverence and honor him;

(b) the means which he saw to be necessary for this was that his “heart” might be “united” in this one great object; that is, that his heart might be single in its views and purposes; that there might be no distracting purposes; that one great aim might be always before him.

The word rendered “unite” – יחד yāchad – occurs as a verb only in three places. In Genesis 49:6, it is rendered united: “Unto their assembly, mine honor, be not thou united.” In Isaiah 14:20, it is translated joined: “Thou shalt not be joined with them.” The adverb – יחד yachad, occurs often, and is rendered together, Genesis 13:6; Genesis 22:6, Genesis 22:8,Genesis 22:19; Genesis 36:7; et saepe. The idea is that of union, or conjunction; of being together; of constituting one; and this is accomplished in the heart when there is one great ruling object before the mind which nothing is allowed to interfere with. It may be added, that there is no more appropriate prayer which a man can offer than that his heart may have such a unity of purpose, and that nothing may be allowed to interfere with that one supreme purpose.
Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible

Teach me thy way – Instruct me in the steps I should take; for without thy teaching I must go astray.

Unite my heart – יחד לבבי yached lebabi, join all the purposes, resolutions, and affections of my heart together, to fear and to glorify thy name. This is a most important prayer. A divided heart is a great curse; scattered affections are a miserable plague. When the heart is not at unity with itself, the work of religion cannot go on. Indecision of mind and division of affections mar any work. The heart must be one, that the work may be one. If this be wanting, all is wrong. This is a prayer which becomes the mouth of every Christian.

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Humility: Can’t force it

I used to think humility meant to guard against pride and to put yourself lower when you see your own view of yourself going up too high—

I read a great book about it. It obviously didn’t stick with me, as I am 26 and just discovered this:

Humility is not lowering yourself, speaking poorly of yourself or displaying the opposite of pride: It is a right understanding of who we are that allows the Spirit to lead us to a lower place.

I google researched this after i wrote my own definition.

The virtue of humility may be defined: “A quality by which a person considering his own defects has a lowly opinion of himself and willingly submits himself to God and to others for God’s sake.” St. Bernard defines it: “A virtue by which a man knowing himself as he truly is, abases himself.” These definitions coincide with that given by St. Thomas: “The virtue of humility”, he says, “Consists in keeping oneself within one’s own bounds, not reaching out to things above one, but submitting to one’s superior” (Summa Contra Gent., bk. IV, ch. lv, tr. Rickaby).

If I know who I am, I will take a low place. I will not force myself to take the lowest place because I want to show humility, but because it is where I belong. The Bible says to sit at the lowest place, and that is a good reason to do so. But that command offers the “What to do” and humility is the “how to do it”. Taking the lowest place is much easier when we know that’s our spot. Taking the lowest place when we don’t know that it is our spot is more than difficult, it may be destructive. Praying for humility means praying for understanding of our spot, then praying for submission.

This is why Jesus was a humble King. He did not go around saying bad things about himself like, “Naw, don’t worship me, I’m trying to show humility (trying to show + humility = oxymoron)” or “I’m not that great, seriously..” — he allowed worship and adoration and perfume on his feet because he knew who he was—yet lowered himself to pay for us. A humble King.

I am praying that every day I would find joy in the fact that I deserved hell but Christ saved me–and that I would live in that realization.

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Amy Carmichael

I read more now, which encourages me to write. While I don’t post about every book, some deserve special mention.

The biography of Amy Carmichael shows that a young woman can keep her way pure and walk in accordance with the truth her whole life if she does so through Christ. Only through Him.

There’s too much to say about her witness, attitude, humility and work. In short, God used her to sow seed and heal hearts throughout India. I was particularly impressed with her prayer life, satisfaction in Christ, and work ethic, and am inspired to spend myself on behalf of the oppressed even more than before. I hope to not be concerned for my own safety or health, for the Spirit will lead and guide and give me rest when needed. Seek first his Kingdom, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul mind strength and love your neighbor as yourself. It never says anything about watching out for ourselves. That’s our Shepherd’s job.

And he does give me rest. Another beautiful weekend with the girls——If I could read my own biography, I hope this chapter would still be towards the front of the book, (when it’s all over someday) and would say,

“Becca found great joy during those days at the Lilac Manor, praying and singing, eating and giggling with the closest companions she’d ever had…she knew that this would not last forever, but took advantage of the time to grow, serve and learn about Jesus—something that would be needed desperately in the work to come. Days spent apple picking, baking and relaxing with friends added memories to a reserve that Becca would draw from later during difficult times–and with such deep bonds, she knew these women would pray for her always. Though Becca knew her days in Boston were numbered, she attempted to live inside of each day, planting a church, working hard at her profession, writing music, building relationships, training for ministry, and deepening her prayer life.” Oh, to have that all be true! That’s how Amy’s biography was written—and I want to live that kind of life.

I do feel that knowing Him closely and listening to His voice, clinging to him and discovering the intimacy he offers is my call–and I am not sure that it’s for “this season”. I think this is my eternal call—and what a wonderful call it is!

When Jesus calls us to come away with Him to a secret place and learn from Him, He is faithful to teach us and make us into people who can change the world (like Amy Carmichael). But He appears more interested in just knowing us and being known by us than he is in using us.

If you pray for me, pray for an undivided heart that obeys Him daily because of overflowing love (not just discipline/devotion). Pray I would abide in Him, learn to rest and hope in Him, preparing for the future but living as Jim Eliot said: “Wherever you are, be all there”.

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I was wondering with my roomie why the Word says we ought to live quiet lives (1 Thessalonians). Didn’t wanna forget the research we did together.

MacArthur explains that…

In anticipation of the Lord’s return, believers are to lead peaceful lives, free of conflict and hostility toward others, which is a witness to the transforming power of the gospel. (MacArthur, John: 1 & 2 Thessalonians. Moody Press or Logos)

McGee has an interesting comment…

“That ye study to be quiet.” That is an interesting commandment for Christians. We have all kinds of schools today to teach people to speak. Every seminary has a public speaking class. Perhaps they should also have a class that would teach their students to be quiet. A lot of saints need such a course! A lady went to a “tongues meeting,” and the leader thought she was interested in speaking in tongues. He asked her, “Madam, would you like to speak in tongues?” She answered, “No, I would like to lose about forty feet off the one I have now!” We need to study to be quiet. That is a commandment. (McGee, J V: Thru the Bible Commentary: Thomas Nelson or Logos)

Guzik’s comment brings this verse home to where we live in America writing that…

The quiet life contradicts the hugely successful modern attraction to entertainment and excitement. This addiction to entertainment and excitement is damaging both spiritually and culturally. We might say that excitement and entertainment are like a religion for many people today.

· This religion has a god: The self.
· This religion has priests: Celebrities.
· This religion has a prophet: Music video channels.
· This religion has scriptures: Tabloids and entertainment news and information programs.
· This religion has places of worship: Amusement parks, theaters, concert halls, sports arenas; and we could say that ever television is a little chapel.

The religion of excitement and entertainment seduces people into living their lives for one thing – the thrill of the moment. But these thrills are quickly over and forgotten, and all that is important is the next fun thing. This religion conditions its followers to only ask one question: “Is it fun?” It never wants us to ask more important questions such as, “Is it true?” “Is it right?” “Is it good?” “Is it godly?”

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