Monthly Archives: November 2011

Toasty November

Lots has happened here – from world travels to life decisions — but the Father is teaching me about resting, waiting and abiding. Very pleasant to learn these things in the peaceful darkness of a Boston November and the soft glow of our upstairs room. This particular winter has been quite warm — and I head to the Back To Jerusalem/Call2All Conference this weekend in LA so that will be toasty too. It’s beginning to feel nothing like Christmas. :).

Also I discovered a new song today while I was putting my laundry away. “God Alone” by Will Reagan (Psalm 62)…it’s wonderful. How true that our salvation comes from him — our soul finds rest in Him.

Today I am thankful for people
who are constantly serving
as both Christ’s hands and feet
and as an example to me

All over the place I find churches or ministries
that are growing, reaching
all the hurting and broken that I can’t reach
But God sees

He is spreading his own Gospel all over the planet
Through the weirdest, funniest people
I mean, he chose me, my roommates..
we’re pretty weird

I guess I am not thankful for people after all
More like thankful for God
for taking the foolish and weak things of the world
and using them to shame the strong and wise
and more importantly, to help orphans, widows and lost kids come home

its an upsidedown, wonderful kingdom
and i will live in it forever, someday fully.
that day can not come soon enough
but until then, i will thank Him for reaching me
through a funny sunday school teacher
and reaching my roommate through a family in germany
and reaching my closest friend through His own word
and reaching my dad through an author he doesnt even like anymore
and reaching my boss through a congressional hearing
and rescuing each person in a different way.

You’ve been very busy.

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Never have I ever

Never have I ever:

Written a message so many times without ever sending the email.

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Jimmy

I met a homeless man named Jimmy
about a year and a half ago
we had extra cupcakes after a picnic
so we stopped for a minute
to give them to him

Jimmy wasn’t like the other folks
cynically sitting around cutting us off when we spoke
He was gentle and kind and desperate
And wanted to step away from the group
and tell us something

so we shuffled over to the other bench.

“Ok, today I want to pray and stop drinkin..
all those christians always tryin to convert me and i say no
but today i want to be christian
i just spent my last dollar on this whiskey
but i want to stop drinkin RIGHT NOW.”

I did not believe him, really.
“Jimmy, what are you trying to pull?
Seriously? Why today? Do you know who Jesus is?”

“I know who he is! i want my life changed!”
“ok then let’s just pray now, jimmy,” i said
but barely believed myself that he was serious.

He gave that whiskey away afterwards
We gave him Fanta. Orange Fanta.
He drank it gratefully.

After that, we spoke on the phone a few times.
“Becca! I still haven’t drank!”
“Really?! That is awesome. You ok?”
“I’m great!”

Few weeks later Jimmy called.
Job interview. Landed it.

Few months later Jimmy called to check in.
Doing great. Sounded happy.

1 year later, maybe year and a half
Jimmy called last week before thanksgiving
“Remember me!? It’s Jimmy!
I’ve been at my job a whole year now. Just wanted to say thanks”.

I told him my friend dave who was with us is married now
and that i’m doing great
He sounded ecstatic.
“I pray every day! I live alone so i dont go back to drinkin”.

I had to stop and realize that our God changes lives
All around us he is changing lives
Today he changed many lives
sometimes we get to see the seeds we planted grow
sometimes we don’t get to see it

But God is always working
whether we believe or not
Whoever you are, Christians who “always tried to convert Jimmy”
you should know that he is sober, working, in an apartment and happy to be alive.
Maybe we can all meet in Heaven for a meal together.

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Keep me in you every moment

Sometimes I waste whole days wondering about things
Other days I hurt others through my determination to use every second.
I say I’m doing it for you, and yet..
You live outside of time.

Thoughts are especially tricky
Sometimes I end up down a long, winding road of thought
Before I even know I left my prayers behind.

When my mind wanders off
and my heart follows suit
When I search for things you never asked me to find

Its all about you–but i need reminding
the truth is there after a good song, a quiet time
If i could just remember why I’m still alive
We could keep my heart in line.

Would

you

capture

this wandering heart of mine?

You’re the only One who can help me leave alone
All that needs to be left alone
And you do.

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Revolutions and a Revelation on Black Friday

Today’s headlines are highly disturbing particularly in comparison with US news:

Telegraph.co.uk
Yemenis stage rival Sanaa rallies amid violence
AFP – ‎48 minutes ago‎
SANAA – Opponents and supporters of Ali Abdullah Saleh held rival rallies in the Yemeni capital Friday after pre-dawn fighting between rival security forces dashed hopes an exit deal for the president would end the violence.

AP AP Nov. 24: Pro-Syrian regime protesters shout slogans as one holds a mock coffin with Arabic words reading: ‘The Syrian people announce to you the death of the Arab League,’ during a protest against the Arab League meeting, in Damascus, Syria.

Hamas: Israeli threats won’t stop unity gov’t
Jerusalem Post – ‎1 hour ago‎
By JPOST.COM STAFF Likud MK: I will petition international community to isolate Palestinian unity gov’t including Hamas. Hamas leader Khaled Mashaal responded to discontent in Jerusalem surrounding a united Palestinian government with Hamas and Fatah …

RABAT, Morocco (AP) — Moroccans voted for a new parliament Friday in Arab Spring-inspired elections that are facing a boycott by democracy campaigners who say the ruling monarchy isn’t committed to real change.

New York Times – ‎28 minutes ago‎
CAIRO – The White House on Friday threw its weight behind Egypt’s resurgent protest movement, urging for the first time the handover of power by the interim military rulers in the Obama administration’s most public effort yet to …

As kings step down and parties compete, as leaders emerge and people are killed, what is going on in our nation?

top headline:

Woman pepper-sprayed adults, kids at Wal-Mart sale, police say
Los Angeles Times – ‎10 minutes ago‎
Authorities are searching for a woman accused of pepper-spraying other shoppers Thursday night at the Wal-Mart in Porter Ranch so that she could grab more discounted merchandise. — Can’t make this stuff up.

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A poem

Oh Lord, for many months I prayed to be filled with your Holy Spirit that I might have more of Jesus. But slowly you are teaching me that to be filled with the Holy Spirit means Jesus has all of me. – Calkin

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Satisfied as an understatement.

1 Chronicles says to “give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!” Why? “For His mercy endures forever.”

This year’s list:

1.) Father Son Holy Spirit. His patience in particular. His lovingkindness. His faithfulness and magnificent plans. His righteousness and generosity. His gentleness and strength.

2.) Family. They are wonderful. Things are so different the older we get. Noah, Micah, Caleb..Hannah, Mom, Dad, Sar, Milt, Jon, miniMiltnSar…Papa

3.) Fen-Fam. Would be lost in Boston without them. In particular – the girls. You know who you are.

4.) Heaven. Knowing about God’s kingdom changes everything. Hope changes everything.

5.) My job. Lots of people don’t have jobs. So blessed.

6.) Lilac Manor. It’s become even more a hotspot of fellowship and place of prayer than i imagined.

7.) Music. Prayer. Joy. Learning. Books. The Word. Peace.

8.) Friends.

9.) Travel. Sun.

10.) Ice Cream.

11.) Freedom.

Couldn’t we sing praises about God’s character for eternity? Won’t we? When we look at Him and not at us, everything gets really simple and more clear – I guess my prayer this year is that it would be a year of thankfulness and focus on Him..that I’d be locked in, in real pursuit, like I’ve not experienced before.

From a book by Calkin:

Lord, I’m so discouraged.
Again and again I’ve struggled
To get hold of myself
But i simply can’t do it

Weary child
Your center is wrong.
The secret is—
Get hold of me

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New book!

http://www.amazon.com/Transforming-Mission-Paradigm-Theology-Missiology/dp/0883447193

This book is going to melt my brain. I’m excited for it though. Recommended by a man I highly trust.
Today I got within two clues on the crossword puzzle during the parade/couchsnuggling with Han. Stumped on two words. :(. Maybe after I read this I can finish crossword puzzles.

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Prayer, Endurance and Jesus

I was recently in Luke and realized something I’d never seen before.

 One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. 13 When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles: 14 Simon (whom he named Peter), his brother Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, 15 Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Simon who was called the Zealot, 16 Judas son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor.

 17 He went down with them and stood on a level place. A large crowd of his disciples was there and a great number of people from all over Judea, from Jerusalem, and from the coastal region around Tyre and Sidon, 18 who had come to hear him and to be healed of their diseases. Those troubled by impure spirits were cured, 19 and the people all tried to touch him, because power was coming from him and healing them all.

 

So he did not SLEEP the night before, then went down the mountain, chose his disciples and healed ALL those people!

 

Guess what he did next?

Napped?

Slept.

Withdrew?

 

nope.

 

Looking at his disciples, he said:

   “Blessed are you who are poor, 
   for yours is the kingdom of God. 
21 Blessed are you who hunger now, 
   for you will be satisfied. 
Blessed are you who weep now, 
   for you will laugh. 
22 Blessed are you when people hate you, 
   when they exclude you and insult you 
   and reject your name as evil, 
      because of the Son of Man.

 

I just can’t get over this. Jesus spent the entire night praying, then delivered the sermon on the mount!

 

Recently, I’ve been being sent places.  DC for days at a time, Rome, NH, then LA next week.  I love travel so it’s not a huge deal, but before we go to each place, there is often a time of preparation (aka desperate scrambling/working weekends).  So there is limited rest.  And yet, here’s what I am learning.

 

1.) God is able to give us the strength to endure it all—and not begrudgingly, or sick/tired the whole time, but thankfully and cheerfully.

2.) This is not about personality type or Myers Briggs.  Our whole team of introverts and extroverts had everything we needed for all of these trips and we have not been burned out yet. This isn’t “just how I am”, it’s available to us because it was available to Jesus.

3.) This is only possible because the same spirit that is in Jesus lives in us.  The exact same one.  Not a little piece of it, and not “in some different way”.  Jesus was a man who was filled with the Spirit of God.  Fully God and fully man, and he spoke to God through the Holy Spirit.  We get this too.

4.) We should still rest. God set up a Sabbath and we honor him by taking one day a week to rest.

5.) He will use that rest time to keep us going throughout the week. I’ve heard many stories of people who stayed up all night or all but two hours and God gave them energy every day to stay awake and function.  But we should only do this if we feel called to do it.

6.) Jesus was effective because he constantly withdrew to pray to God.  The more we spend time in his presence alone, the more we need to spend MORE time…it’s a little bit weird, but I guess it’s like a relationship with a friend or significant other. The more time you spend, the more you want to spend.

7.) Every time we go into His presence to tell Him what’s happening, ask Him for help, worship His name, confess our sins—it’s time well-spent.  We should rest because he commands us to, but we should not be overly worried or anxious about health or sleep.  The Lord will provide if he asks for your time.  Sometimes we do not see him work miracles like this because we’re taking care to never need His strength.

For a few years now, I’ve sort of tried to “understand the season I am in” and work hard, play hard during the day since “night is coming when no one can work”. (John 9:4).

When I am older, God may give me a family or more down time.  While I am young, it’s nice to be able to speak on behalf of the oppressed and run around knowing that it is not I but the Spirit in me who keeps me going when things go well.  When things go badly, my vision is clouded, I am cranky or exhausted, it’s not so much the spirit in me as the flesh in me.  Still working on that.

I regularly consider the woman in Proverbs 31. She gets us early and is always taking care of things for her family in a responsible way.  

Brother Yun taught me a lot about rest.  He is always in prayer throughout the day–always working but always praying.  He gets up at 5 daily —  and is no spring chicken.  When we are serving the Father, time alone with Him IS rest (that’s why Jesus could pray all night!).  When I miss morning times with Him, I start feeling terrible.  This post is meant more to encourage us to stretch ourselves and leave comfort zones, to enjoy Him and not worry about physical effects.  It’s not a defense of my personal sleep habits :).  Still, I am thankful for my parents who know me best and agree together with me that this crazy schedule, these unique opportunities to travel, speak and learn — are for a season, and that God Himself is faithful and will do it, if He is leading.  I do not have to take care of myself and he always provides energy or rest in the moment i need it most.

 

I just want to worship Him for that actually.  God, thank you that you are a good shepherd.  You are faithful and kind, and you provide for every need.  You command us to rest, and for that, we’re thankful.  Teach us to balance our days correctly between work, play, sleep, rest and time with you.  We have the sabbath once a week but days aren’t as simple.  You are a good God who created seasons!  We love seasons here in Boston.  Teach us to be content whatever the circumstances, whether well fed or hungry, in plenty or in need, in danger, in comfort…teach me to be content when too busy, and when “bored”.  I pray that we would resemble Jesus–led by the Spirit, and devoted to His mission with an undivided heart.

My heart is prone to wander, Lord.  In your great mercy, would you help me stay by you?  I am easily distracted and am not a very good sheep.  Please do whatever it takes to teach me to cling to you: You are the only anchor.  I know that’s dangerous to pray, but not as dangerous as leaving me to my own discipline or desires.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I guess in all of these posts and all these ramblings, if we can take our eyes off ourselves and stick them on Him, we’re getting someplace.  It’s not about personality or who we are, what we are capable of or whether we think this or that. It’s about Him, his example, his commands and His Spirit.

 

 

 

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Faith like a little child

The Gospel is crystal clear on some things, and one of them is the need to believe like a little child believes. Have faith that is unending, despite logic or intellect.

Some might feel that the more they live, the harder it is to believe in this way, and “it’s not my fault but my mind has already been taught, learned, seen too much to have that sort of naive faith again”. But i argue that a.) Jesus isn’t asking for naivety, and b.) the more I live, the easier it is becoming to believe like this. If your lifestyle is one where you constantly have to do the impossible, hope for the best amidst difficulty, and pray like you’ve never prayed that God will help you (and he does!) — then it’s conducive to a heart that builds up faith in Him. If you live life in a more comfortable way, and pray now and then for things you’d like, but don’t see many answers, and read books and speak to people that waver your faith, well, you may continue to pedal backwards in the faith part of your walk with Him. And the faith part is of utmost importance.

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